Sorry about the wind… it wasn’t mine! Haha! Need to get a mic for recording with the iPhone! And sorry for the lack of video at the top of Doan… It was so cold, my phone died because of how cold it was. Started back up at the bottom. Go figure!
Today’s guest writer is Paul McLean. Batting way above his league he married one of my work colleagues in the early naughties. Since that point I have enjoyed his friendship and outlook on life.
Paul’s life journey over the last few years has been a roller coaster of a ride and one can take much learning from it. Take it away Paul…
One Saturday morning, the 18th June 2016, I was with my wife chatting about stories, not book stuff, but videos that can be used to tell a story quick. I was talking about Casey Niestat video he made in Belfast and was turning my body to pick up my phone from the window sill to show it.
I noticed that I couldn’t move my right hand… I was trying to show my wife, Suzanne, that I couldn’t lift my hand to point. I tried to speak, but she was reading and didn’t see what happened. Thankfully, she noticed that my face had drooped and my speech was slurred. In my head I was speaking perfectly clearly, but she couldn’t understand. She rang an ambulance, and the ambulance called told her to try the FAST setup… yup! I had a stroke. I was rushed to Royal Victoria Hospital where I had a revolutionary treatment to remove a blood clot from my brain, a thrombectomy. I was incredibly fortunate, because normally this procedure isn’t available on a Saturday, however, the neurologist just so happened to be in the hospital to pick something up. It was a bit of a miracle! The doctors told my wife there was about a 10% chance I’d survive, but thankfully I’m here to tell my story.
In the past year and a half, rehabilitation has been a massive part of where I am now. Speech and language therapy still has to be done everyday. JK Rowling and Stephen Fry were a massive part of how I can read better, but if it hadn’t of been for an SLT lady called Jane Allen, I would be useless. Talking, conversations, and thinking were from her learning, and I still thank God for her existence. So, yeah, I can read.
Today, do you know what I miss the most? Reading. Yes, texts and tweets are okay, I can handle them, but a chapter of a book now hurts my brain, and at the end, I have forgotten parts of it. GAH! One book a day was my normal world. Now, maybe a chapter a week, if I’m on fire; not the usual for my current brain. Fatigue is my nemesis now. My brain is like a three year old; too much reading and thinking makes Jack a knackered boy.
Being a 41 stroke survivor wasn’t part of my plan. Language was my job. I like to think it still is, but I have lost so much, and I don’t always know how to get it back. Aphasia has destroyed my love for language and I miss it. An ex-actor and English teacher without language is, well, pointless, which is how, for now, I seem to be!
Aphasia is a communication languages disability; reading and writing and speaking are all affected by it. And, for some people, it hinders their understanding of what others are reading or saying. It’s like of a random dyslexic syndrome cause by a brain injury, traumatic or other ways, like a stroke. For me, the best way for me to explain it is that my brain is holding my words hostage, and I can’t negotiate the release, it has those words too!
Writing this is a piece of art. Not just splashing the paint on a canvas, more like a play; moving the players around the page to create a manuscript. And to make that happen, I need patience. Probably something we all need.
Oh, and if you are wondering how I created this piece, speaking to my iPhone to type up what I say, send it to a computer and getting it to read it back to me, so I don’t make mistakes, and if my brain has find the mistake if it’s there! Other than that, I will work on patience today! The mistakes can wait…And so can the reading!